


Snowflakes and Teardrops

by Gay_Tired_and_Bored



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Depictions of anxiety, Depictions of depression, Human AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, and as always, i couldnt think of a title to save my life, i wrote this at 1 am, there is no guarantee that any of it will be coherent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 14:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30056886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_Tired_and_Bored/pseuds/Gay_Tired_and_Bored
Summary: It's been a rough few days for Roman. But tonight was particularly hard for him.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Snowflakes and Teardrops

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely spur of the moment and self indulgent. The way that depression and anxiety are depicted here are based on how I personally experience them. This is mostly just for my sad, Roman kinnie ass, but why not share it with others.
> 
> TW: depictions of depression and anxiety, let me know if theres something i missed

It was probably around 2 AM, but Roman had stopped paying attention to the time a while ago. He sat on the edge of his bed, idly strumming chords on his guitar for the past few hours. For a reason he couldn’t explain, he was just feeling so incredibly down today. Well, maybe not just today. He’d felt a little sadder than usual the past few days, but it was nothing out of the ordinary for him. Usually playing his guitar helped ground him and cheer him up, but tonight he couldn’t even find the motivation to do that. He had been sitting here, just trying to figure out something to play, but nothing. 

Nothing really felt right. His fingers had gotten sore from pressing too hard on the strings. He felt so tired, but couldn’t seem to sleep. It was so late, but a dim light still reflected off the snow outside into his window. Life felt so overwhelming right now, and it felt like nothing could stop it. His eyes teared up as a tear fell down his cheek. Maybe he could call someone? His phone was right next to him. He set the guitar on the floor and laid back on the bed, picking up his phone and turning it on. The time flashed across the screen: 2:34 AM. Would anyone even be awake right now? He unlocked the phone and scrolled through his contacts. It had to be a better idea than sitting here with his guitar doing nothing for the next 3 hours.  
He scrolled up and down for a few minutes. Most people would probably be asleep by now, so that limited his options. He closed his eyes and randomly clicked on a contact. He opened his eyes. 

He blinked for a minute. His eyes were blurry from the tears. The name on the screen came into focus. Janus. Roman wasn’t sure why he didn’t think to call his boyfriend first. He didn’t want to bother him this late, but he clicked the call button before he got the chance to overthink it. He put it on speaker and curled his knees to his chest, holding his phone in his right hand, holding his legs with his left. The phone rang three times, then Janus picked up.  
“Ro?” His boyfriend groggily asked. “Is everything okay? You’re usually not up this late.”  
Roman wanted to tell him everything. How hopeless he felt right now, how everything just felt empty, but he just couldn’t say the words, letting out a quiet sob in place of all those feelings. He could tell his phone call woke Janus up. His mind was racing and it felt like he couldn’t escape from it. He was probably bothering him anyway. His thumb hovered over the end call button, but Janus spoke up again.

“Roman?” Janus repeated with much more concern. He was trying not to show it, but getting a phone call this late from his crying boyfriend scared him a lot. He took a deep breath. “Roman, do you need me to come over?” He heard a muffled noise of agreement between sobs, and quickly threw on a coat and a pair of shoes, running out the door with his boyfriend still on the line.  
It was snowing outside, and colder than Janus would like, but Roman needed him right now. He only lived a couple blocks away from his boyfriend’s apartment. It shouldn’t take more than 8 minutes to get there. “Ro, I’ll be there soon. It’s gonna be alright. Try to take deep breaths, okay?” He could hear another noise of agreement, and attempts at slowed breathing from the other end of the line. He raced around the corner to the entrance of the apartment complex, and ran up the stairs to his boyfriend’s apartment. He hurriedly opened the door, hanging up the phone to run to the room where Roman was crying.

Roman was crying into his knees, curled up on the edge of the bed when he heard the door open and the call end. He looked up as the boy with brown hair, dusted in snow, opened the door to his room. Janus quickly ran over to him and sat down next to him. Roman tensed up for a moment, but quickly relaxed, turning to cry into his boyfriend’s shoulder. Janus rubbed small circles on his back with his thumbs. It hurt to see Roman like this. At least he could be here to try to help now.  
“It’s okay Ro. Just let it out. I’m here.”

Words weren’t enough to explain the moment of relief that Roman felt. In those moments where he was right there with Janus, everything felt like maybe it would be alright. He still wasn’t okay, by any means, but it all felt better in that moment. Then the moment ended, and all the fear and worry came back.  
“I- I’m so sorry Janus.” he choked out. “It’s so cold out, and it’s so late, and I made you come over here for me… I, I…”

“Shhhhh, it’s okay.” Janus pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “I’m happy to be here for you, okay? I promise I’m not going anywhere.” He looked down to Roman with a sad smile, then pulled him into a warm embrace, burying himself in his boyfriend’s shoulder.

They sat like that in silence for a while, Roman’s breathing slowly steadying as he stopped crying. Both of them wished they could stay like that forever. Sadly, they also knew that they couldn’t. Janus looked up and tousled Roman’s soft, auburn hair. “Ro? Do you wanna talk about what happened?” Roman looked up as well, and slowly nodded.

“I’m still not entirely sure. The last few days, I’ve felt kinda off, but it didn’t feel like anything too bad, but tonight…” he trailed off. “I was trying to ground myself by playing guitar,” he motioned to the instrument on the floor next to him. “But it wasn’t working. I didn’t know what to do, so I called you, and you know the rest.” 

“Are you feeling any better now?” Janus asked, taking Roman’s hand in his own.

“Mhm.” Roman weakly smiled. “But could you stay here for a while? I don’t want to be alone right now.” Janus smiled down at him. He would love that more than anything.

“Of course I’ll stay. C’mon, it’s pretty chilly. Let’s grab a blanket, okay?”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this. I seriously finished this at 3 AM, and I cannot think straight right now. Have a good one!  
> -Goose


End file.
